Sham Surgeon Shoots Silicone Injection Inaccurately Inside Unsuspecting Penis

38-year-old Kasia Rivera just plead guilty to being an unlicensed cosmetic surgeon who injected silicone into a man's penis incorrectly and killed him.


Authorities said that when she injected the silicone, it went directly into his bloodstream, later shutting down his organs and he died.



And when I say that she was unlicensed, I don't mean like she was licensed and she lost it, or she was on her way to getting it — she said she wasn't even trained to do this!


In exchange for her guilty plea, prosecutors are looking to get five years, and also, quick question: I understand a lot of men are insecure about their penis, but why would you beta test something on your body?! If penis enlargement stuff was real, and it worked, that shit would be on the cover of TIME magazine! And it would just be a picture of eighty guys with massive smiles!


No one's hiding the secret penis enlargement thing! That's not a billion dollar industry!! That's a trillion dollar industry!!!

And you'd know that this was a big thing because after the news broke and these pills (or whatever the hell) were released, the next story would be like 'The number of bruised cervices have gone up tenfold!'

Dominatrix Duo Sampling Skimpy Police Costumes Pulled Off a Surprisingly Successful Jailbreak

In an amazing story, I have to talk about, or rather blog about something that came out of Brazil.

Reportedly, 2 women broke 26 prisoners out of jail. And according to reports, the way they did it, lol, was they dressed in skimpy sexy police officer costumes, just showed up to the prison, and talked the guards into letting them inside.



It's at that point, the women reportedly roofied the whiskeys the guys were drinking. And when the guards woke up, they were handcuffed naked, and 26 prisoners had escaped.

And so, what we learned here is a life lesson everyone should learn as early as possible. When something seems too good to be true, it probably is. If a beautiful, random, naked woman shows up on your door, question that. You want it to be real, guess what, that's not happening. Her crackhead boyfriend's going to break in and kill you!



Or at the very least, you're going to need genital creams for the rest of your life.

The downfall of so many men is just having a penis. A penis just makes a man stupid. Lol, when women ask me why guys constantly think about sex, it's not like we decided! It's not like we all got together and we were like, 'So, let's always think about sex instead of, you know, being productive with our lives.'



Sex can be an act of love, and passion, and babymaking but at the end of the day, it's getting (what I like to call) mind-poison out of your body. That's what's in there — not just baby batter, it's mind-poison! And if you are a guy and you're not already onboard with this, just, the next time you do whatever, make mental notes of just the weird stuffs going on in your bighead before, and then the clarity after.

The Caleb Clemmons Case: Another Example of Someone Who Could Face Prison Time Because of Something He Said on the Internet

I've seen this multiple times in the past few months, and this time, it involves 20-year-old Caleb Clemmons, a former Georgia Southern student.



He's been in jail for 6 months now, because of something he posted on Tumblr. The thing he posted on Tumblr was:



And, after just a few rounds, the psychology major was tracked down, and arrested. Police found no plans to actually attack the school, they found no weapons. Clemmons telling authorities that the Tumblr post was (quote):



But, he's still being charged with making terrorist threats on a computer, and could face up to 5 years in prison.

The county set Clemmons's bond at twenty thousand dollars ($20,000), which is too much for his family to afford. Caleb's family reported that while he has been in jail, he has been physically assaulted.

And, really, these cases are so "new", you don't know what's going to happen. Will the judge try and make an example of these people posting these things? Will the judge have a personal realization that he thinks there's a difference between a joke (on the internet), and a threat? Who knows. Honestly, we live in a very, very weird time where we think of the internet as this playground, or a place where we can just say stuff, and nothing actually happens. I mean, if you put a microphone in the offices (at my place of work), the jokes that are said there, all of us would probably go to jail.

But, at the same time, if things like this are said, and law enforcement doesn't get involved, and then something actually happens, we're all going to be like, down in the mouth.

Gasoline Lice Treatment

In Oklahoma, a mother faces a charge of child abuse because when her child got lice, instead of, let's say, going to the store, and getting over-the-counter cheap lice treatment stuff, she figured she could get the same effect by pouring gasoline on her child's head.



If that was not bad enough, the child was next to a space heater which would go on to light the hair on fire, resulting in second and third degree burns on 60% of the child.

The police say the little girl is living with relatives now, after lengthy treatments for her burns. And, a court record shows that the mother could face up to life in prison, if she is convicted.



So, the principal point of this short story is that some people should just not have children. They should just not be allowed. And, also, maybe your mom is not as bad as you thought she was, previously. Unless, she has also set you on fire, in a way that could've been avoided by buying something that costs a little over a dollar.

50 Cent Is In Trouble!

Curtis Jackson has been charged with domestic violence, after he allegedly kicked one of his baby mamas in the ass and destroyed a bunch of her property, in her condo, last month. If convicted on all counts, he could face up to 5 years in prison, and $46,000 in fines. For a celebrity with lots of money, forty six thousand dollars is obviously a numb number - - considering it might just be one over one billionth of his overall net worth. Nonetheless, it should be noted here, that he has only been charged with it, not convicted of it. So, you know, he's innocent, until proven guilty.