The Nocturnal Emissions That Come With Lusting After Angelina Jolie's Lovely Lips

Those lips. Full. Fleshy. Always delicious to look at.



I once dreamed about eating her for breakfast on a big bed of gorgeous green grass, after watching the sun rise all over her body.



When erotic eons had passed, I woke in a pool of syrup. Looking in the mirror, her ravishing reflection gave me a sweet satisfactory smile, as her soft skin glistened with my baby batter.



All jokes aside, she's chronically compassionate and giving. Reminds me that there's so much more to life than looks.



She's just a badass!

Highest Paid Actresses of 2013

Forbes has released a list of top earning actresses. There are 5 lovely ladies making up the list, and I'm going to tell them all to you right now because it's fun to know how rich you will never be. Just kidding. Simmer down.

Coming in at #5 is Emma Stone. Between the months of June 2012 and June 2013, Little Miss Stone raked in an estimated 16 million dollars.



#4th place is Jennifer Aniston at 20 million dollars.



Aniston has We're the Millers coming out August 9th, 2013, which actually looks pretty funny.



And, she keeps getting more attractive.



Coming in at #3rd place, the bronze medal of wealth goes to Kristen Stewart, with 22 million dollars.



#2nd place in the rich category goes to Jennifer Lawrence. Lawrence earned 24 million dollars, as well as a place in America's heart.



And, finally, coming in #1st is Angelina Jolie with a whopping 33 million dollars!



Thanks to next year's Maleficent, and all the other avenues she drives down to make all her money.



Alright, Guys, in the comments section down below, tell me which of these 5 you would most like to enjoy a candle-lit dinner with. Any answer that's not Angelina Jolie, is wrong.