ISIS Threatens To Behead Obama

ISIS militants recently recorded a video where they sent a message to US President Obama saying that they will reach America, cut off his head in the White House, and transform the United States into a Muslim province.



I have to say to ISIS: That is such a ridiculous threat that even North Korea is embarrassed for you! You're gonna go to the White House and cut off Barack Obama's head!! In the White House!!!

Some Juicy, Juicy Political News

Patricia Todd, Alabama's first openly gay legislator, has threatened to expose the extramarital affairs of some of her Republican colleagues, due to their opposition to same sex marriage.



I haven't the vaguest idea if her adulterous colleagues could make her back off from the threat to 'out' them.

MH370: Much Ado About Nothing

After all these months, Malaysia has declared Flight MH370 an accident and that all 239 people on board are now presumed dead.



This announcement means 2 main things.

1. This opens the door for compensation for the relatives of those who died on the flight (to be paid).



2. Even though Malaysia Airlines says that finding this plane is a priority, they are backing off and Australia is taking the lead.

Social Media Awesome

While Instagram and Facebook were crashing, Twitter decided to go ahead and release Video for Twitter — where you can actually post a video directly from Twitter and not just Vine.



The videos could be 30 seconds long; unlike Facebook they don't auto-play.



And now you can do group DM.

Sex... Specifically Sex Tapes

There was news about some Wiz Khalifa blah, blah, blah sex tape, blah, blah, blah. Don't care, too mainstream.



It's 2014 (going on 2015), there's too many sex tapes online that I don't want to see beautiful people anymore. I need it weird. And for me to care anymore, it needs to be like the guy from Duck Dynasty getting a train run on him by clowns.



Or the equally terrifying actual offer that Vivid Entertainment made for Mama June and Sugar Bear from Honey Boo Boo fame to bang on camera for $1 million. Why?!? That's like literally paying for a train wreck to happen!



Granted, if you actually did sell tickets to a train wreck that you could schedule, you'd probably make money. But, my question is why?!! Why do you want to do this to us?!?

Now the good news is, we do not all need to bleach our eyes, she turned it down. And despite her dating a man who allegedly raped her daughter — he was eventually indicted for rape, child molestation, aggravated child molestation, enticing a child for indecent purposes, and aggravated sexual battery in a different case — a lot of smoke for there to be no fire.



She said:



And the principal point of that story is ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww, ewww.

But I am still kind of holding out for that clown/Duck Dynasty gangbang. You would watch that video, don't act like you wouldn't! You might not pay for it but you'd be like, 'Lemme see, lemme see what this is about.'

2 Bits of Prosthetic Limb Awesome

It's always so amazing to see how prosthetics, how technology in general is advancing.

The first story was by the Colorado man who had lost both his arms to a freak electric accident 40 years ago.



He went to Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Laboratory.



They hooked him up with this rig...



...and just by thinking of how he wanted to move his hands...



...he was able to move 2 prosthetic limbs! Simultaneously!!



Obviously, the tech's really really a major milestone for modular prosthetic limb robotics. That's a landmark in prosthetics right there!



And then the second story — because they were like 'let's be honest, the internet only cares about cute animals!' — they took this poor adorable husky that had lost both of its front legs.



And they gave him prosthetics very similar to what the Blade Runner used.



It just warms my heart and also shows how 3D Printing has made stuff like this so much easier for people.

Chocolate Bar

8-year-old Dylan Siegel raised $1 million dollars to help research the rare disease his best friend has.



Dylan's friend is one of 500 children in the world suffering from Glycogen Storage Disease Type 1B. It's a liver disorder with no cure.



So, he decided to make a book called Chocolate Bar, and he starts selling it, and people really liked it, and he sold 25,000 copies in 60 countries, and helped raise a million.



The principal point here is that Dylan's awesome and all your friends suck.