The Massive Bust With the FBI Shutting Down Silk Road

For those who don't know, Silk Road was commonly referred to as the internet's largest black market.



Or more simply: the place you'd go to get pretty much any drug ever easily.



Very recently, the owner of the website was reportedly arrested in San Francisco; and accused of computer hacking, narcotics trafficking, money laundering, and hiring a contract killer.



In an operation said to have been going on since November 2011, undercover agents made 100 purchases of controlled substances.



On top of arresting Silk Road's owner, they seized the website, and confiscated 3.6 million in bitcoins.



And some very interesting stuff in the criminal complaint, especially about the murder for hire deal. It says:



Incase you're wondering how the hell they found this guy; one report says that he posted his Gmail address using the same user account. They found that to be connected where he publicized Silk Road on Bitcoin forums.



And, from there the FBI was able to find his Google+ profile, his LinkedIn profile, and his IP address from Google.



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The Biggest Ass Fish to Ever Swim Earth's Oceans

Currently...right now...as I type this, the largest fish swimming around in the deep dark ocean is the freaking adorable whale shark (with its cute, big adorable mouth).



The largest confirmed specimen was 41.5 feet long. That's big! Like, three times bigger than a great white big!!! But, it's not big enough to usurp the Leedsichthys problematicus, the largest known fish ever.



For more than a 160 million years ago, the Leedsichthys problematicus reigned supreme in Jurassic waters.



And it took up a lot of space. It can grow to over 54 feet in length. A 54 foot fish!!!!

Up until now, researchers were only able to speculate on the fishy link due to incomplete fossils; but the recent discovery of the almost completely intact remains, confirmed the aquatic conjectures. And, like many scientific discoveries, this knowledge comes to light after a super scientific, well thought out accident.

Professor Liston of the National Museums of Scotland (and part of the discovery team), said that two students were working on a geology project, in a quarry, when they noticed pieces of bone sticking out of the rocks. It turned out to be fossil pieces of Leedsichthys. A real breakthrough. The students made their discovery at Peterborough, Cambridgeshire. The discovery shows that while dinosaurs were experiencing gigantism, or excessive growth, on land, sea breeders were undergoing similar changes.

So, on land, it was all raging and chomping, and under the sea, this guy (Leedsichthys) would sweep up shoals of plankton in its mouth, trapping them in a mesh net on its gills. Until they were wiped out by the same thing that wiped out the dinos.

The Nocturnal Emissions That Come With Lusting After Angelina Jolie's Lovely Lips

Those lips. Full. Fleshy. Always delicious to look at.



I once dreamed about eating her for breakfast on a big bed of gorgeous green grass, after watching the sun rise all over her body.



When erotic eons had passed, I woke in a pool of syrup. Looking in the mirror, her ravishing reflection gave me a sweet satisfactory smile, as her soft skin glistened with my baby batter.



All jokes aside, she's chronically compassionate and giving. Reminds me that there's so much more to life than looks.



She's just a badass!

300 Sandwiches

There was this story that you've probably heard about by now, which is: 300 Sandwiches.



A New York City gossip reporter by the name of Stephanie Smith, revealed herself to be the source of 300 Sandwiches.



It's a food blog that she created after she gave her boyfriend a sandwich and he told her she was 300 sandwiches away from an engagement ring.



She then proceeded to make sandwich after sandwich, while blogging it.



At the time of the article where she revealed herself, she had made 176 of said 300 sandwiches; each growing more and more complicated and fancy.








People on the internet reacted in one of two ways. Some found it cute and/or funny. Others shouted that this woman was a sad excuse for the feminist movement; and she promoted servitude.

But, here's the deal: if 2 people are in a relationship, and they have this back and forth, and they think that there's nothing actually bad about the relationship; I think it's fine. If they're totally happy about their relationship, then they should be left alone.



Also, here's how I see women and sandwiches: some would make you a sandwich before you even think about it, some would always be ready to make you a sandwich whenever you need one, while some would tell you to go fuck yourself right after kicking you in the balls.

I'm a little bit bothered by this though; and it ends up being a reason that's accidentally attached to the feminist movement.

In general consensus, it comes across that this ring is something that is earned; which bothers me because I never saw (and will never see) an engagement ring, or a marriage, as something that was/is earned. And, if this story perpetuates the idea that an engagement ring is something a woman has to work for, to get, like a treat for a dog, then I have a problem with it.

My woman's worth more than 300 sandwiches, an engagement ring, anything. It all comes down to happiness and love, and that's what I'm going to focus on with that story.

The Catastrophic Consequences of Breaking Up With People Via Text

A story broke recently, and it had the title:



I looked into it, and the woman is a 26-year-old Memoirist who runs society, events and gossip.



And, the relationship lasted two weeks and two dates. She even sets up the back story:



After two weeks, the guy decides to stop leading her on and sent her a text message.



Maybe, he has confrontation issues, but it's also still someone he has only known for two weeks.

Consequently, Quin Woodward was "stunned to paralysis". And to make herself extremely relatable, she said she was still "agitated" ten hours later.



She then proceeds to send possibly the most passive-aggressive text in the history of ever; which you shall now read:





This woman is the epitome of crazy! Regardless of her public admission of insanity (if she eventually kills someone), the part where she said she owns her own condo, and the part where she attacked his 9-year-old daughter, was irrational and reactionary respectively. And really, she just hurt things, mainly her own image. Whether she stops or not, is entirely up to her.

In my honest humble opinion, she sounds like she's probably angry at herself for giving up the booty really really fast.

Syria: The War of Perception and the Idea of Exceptionalism

President Bashar al-Assad has said that the reason Syria is giving over its chemical weapons has nothing to do with America.



Saying Syria is placing its chemical weapons under international control because of Russia; that U.S. threats do not influence the decision.



Assad adding that Syria would submit documents to the United Nations, for an agreement governing the hand-over of its chemical arsenal.



And (just really quick), before we go even further with this war of perception, Putin, who's obviously really good friends with the president of Syria, said two things that stood out to me.

The first was:



And, to that point, I agree. It's something I ask myself, and I think it's something many of the American people wonder. But, if one is to point out filth, he should wash his own hands. I've read two separate stories saying Syrian rebels received their guns from the United States; and then we have the Syrian government receiving aid from Iran and Russia. It's completely and horribly hypocritical. Nonetheless, it's still a very good question.

The second was:



Apparently, an editor removed "...unless you're gay". Ultimately, God may have created us equal, but we do live in different places. Some where, you know, there can be racism. And then, some, you can stone your 8-year-old wife to death because she probably looked at someone sexier than you by a long-shot. Proportionally, one of those situations is greater than the other.

Without a doubt, the idea of American exceptionalism is so hated by Mr. Putin, broadly because he thinks they claim to be the best in things they're not the best in. Personally, I do see America as exceptional in several ways: I think it's exceptional they don't jail political opponents, I think it's exceptional that they're not trying to arrest members of the Bloodhound Gang because they're expressing their distaste for the country by putting a flag down their pants.



Additionally, I think the USA is egregiously exceptional because they're slowly (as a big group) accepting their gay brothers and sisters; and that's what I think of when I see American exceptionalism, it's not that they're better. Admittedly, the U.S. is kinda fucked up, they don't have it all altogether (no country does, not even mine). They have some good things though, and they're striving to be better. In my honest humble opinion, the idea of exceptionalism is only bad if it's blind and without humility. Even Mr. Putin was deemed to be exceptional compared to his opponent (unless his elections are rigged).



All of that typed, Putin is just playing the liberal western media and everyone else following it. And he's doing it so, so well.

Iron Man Joins the U.S. Army!

The U.S. military have commissioned a real-life Iron Man suit!!!



The goal is to provide full ballistic protection; or providing basic life support such as heat, air and oxygen.



Google it, I'm not bullshitting!

The Victimization of Robin Thicke

You probably remember how everyone concluded that Miley Cyrus is such a skank, and Robin Thicke was just an innocent bystander who grinded on Miley's booty and let her touch him. Poor Robin! Shame the whore!



Well, a picture was posted to the internet, and it was removed (which means it was fantastic). But it surfaced again recently, thanks to the deep diggers of the internet (these scavengers salvage almost anything on the interwebs). And the picture was of Robin Thicke with a female fan; where he may or may not be treating her like a human bowling ball.



Since we don't slut-shame men, I've got to give props to Robin Thicke for at least not doing it with his other hand, because then he might lose his wedding ring.

Le Kwa Ukwu

After directing a string of sloppy music videos that flopped even on the strong shoulders of very popular (and established) artistes like Davido and Wande Coal, Sesan went back to the drawing board at his alps and worked on creating an avalanche to crush critics. Iyanya probably smelled what Sesan was cooking and enlisted him to direct the music video for his latest smash single, Le Kwa Ukwu.

Sesan took this platform as a solid second chance to redeem his drastically diminishing status. I think he has. A little bit. The video is impeccable, to type the least. Not too impeccable though. The video features one of Ghana's finest and dandiest dancers, Jay Sevensi, alongside Iyanya himself.



The male chemistry between Iyanya and Jay wasn't the best but it was wonderful.



Jay was credible and gave the video visibility. Hopefully, the video will be critically well-received.

The presentation's plush. It begins with a red hot hottie stepping out to a table, in a cozy, comfy restaurant.



There's also a bar in the restaurant, where two handsome waiters (Jay and Iyanya) are idling away and having a bit of chitchat over laughter, before they involuntarily set eyes on the beauty.



Without further ado, Jay urges Iyanya to go for it, and the Kukere master wastes no time at all.



Approaching her table with a bottle of red wine, Iyanya pours her some.



She's obviously loving what she's looking at...



...but before she can take two sips, Iyanya has recruited Jay and a third party, to tender her a sweet serenade.



One minute, she's feeling the vibe...



...the next minute, she's killing the vibe. Or at least, trying to.



But, with the rigid resilience of the U-17 Golden Eaglets, Iyanya & Co. kept up the pace.



Apparently, our not-so-very voluptuous video vixen wasn't really ready to moist her underwear as she looked away from the provocative slow winding and resorted to take a phone call.



I really dug how Mr. Jombolo reached down to throw freaky faces at her.



It really tickled her funny bone.



Putting the icing on the cake, the Sexy Mama crooner dished out velvety vocals that made her blush.



In a failed attempt to try and take it to the next level, the trio made sexually suggestive gestures towards our magnificent model chick, and she wasn't having none of that.



It maybe miscommunication of some sort. She might've misunderstood the message as an invitation to a foursome. I guess she stormed out at the terrible thoughts of a deepthroat and a double penetration.



Soon after her abrupt exit, Iyanya stood somewhat scared shitless, as though he was bleeding profusely after shooting himself in the penis. Jay was damn disappointed.



Refusing to let go and give up, Jay coerced Iyanya to chase after her.



Meanwhile, our lovely lady has stepped outside where it's slightly drizzling.



With her Brazilian hair (and designer dress) getting damp, Iyanya runs to the rescue.



Catching up with her, he shelters her from the rain with his umbrella, while (most importantly) grabbing hold of her waist.



Unfortunately, (I hate to be the one to have to type this) that's the only ukwu you'll see in this video. Plus, it's fake; as a professor in Booty'Ology, it was way too easy for me to scan and detect that she wore padded panties!



Booty'Ologists worldwide would be bamboozled by this. I, for one, was absolutely annoyed that the title misled me. Incase it's unclear, Le Kwa Ukwu means "Look at all that ass!"; or to break it down in plain pidgin, "See NYANSH!". Personally, after one look at the title, I swiftly streamed this video to treat my eyes to donkey donks and asses for days, but to no avail. Nonetheless, it's a cool video, but the ukwu on display didn't impress at all! We can now cut Timaya some slack on his Ukwu video. His white booty was better.



Speaking of white booty, the best I've ever seen (in a music video), is in The-Dream's Slow It Down video.



Le Kwa Ukwu!



Very curvy something.



Iyanya's hands obviously doesn't reach that height, but he could've managed to secure the services of the eye candy in May D's Gat Me High video.



Her bubble butt would've been better.



Ultimately, Wande Coal's The Kick remains the current undisputed, best big booty music video, in Naija (for a long time to come). I haven't the vaguest idea why Sesan, who directed The Kick, couldn't at least duplicate his own effort in Le Kwa Ukwu. It's just very vexatious. Every time I watch The Kick, that infamous bad bitch on the left leaves my jeans steaming; my manaconda would be kicking incessantly, throbbing up and down with violent vibrations.



It's all big bouncy booty from start...



...to finish...



...and that's the way an ass video should be; big booty scattered all over the scenes.

I'm not trying to perpetuate the idea that Iyanya's new video is bad, no; it's good, but it could've been better. Speaking of which, one of the better scenes in Le Kwa Ukwu is in an alley where Iyanya (with the accompaniment of D3Dancers) dances to his newfound friend. At the point where he called out D3Dancers, it's crystal clear that the lady he has the hots for, is a regular customer at the restaurant he works at and that he's been planning on winning her heart for sometime now. She gave him the green light.



Choreography was wonderful. D3Dancers were so on-point with their moves and steps.



I remember seeing them in Timaya's Ukwu video as well.



I also remember watching their own rendition of Davido's Skelewu. Kiddy left them in the dust though.

Back to the matter (in Wizkid's voice), the luxury beamer that Iyanya drove his new chick home with, was way hotter than his new chick. Left me wondering how a waiter could afford that very vintage vehicle.



Moving on, my best part of the video was when he walked her to her door (with the intention of an overnight), she teased him and bade him farewell...



...then just as he began wallowing in self-pity, cursing himself for being so unlucky, she opened up and pulled his horny ass inside (much to his amazement and mine).