First-Degree Murder and a Snapchat Selfie

Authorities have arrested 16-year-old Maxwell Morton for allegedly killing a classmate by shooting him in the face!

Now for how the officers knew he did it, after they found the body of the victim, they found out that Maxwell took a selfie with the corpse and posted it on Snapchat.





So, little tip, if you post a picture of your penis, your vagina, your boobs, or you with a dead body, someone's going to screencap it. It's not going to just disappear into the cloud, you idiot!

So, the police see this, they search his home, they find the murder weapon.

And so the principal point of this short story — other than the obvious — don't murder people please.

Babyzilla

A woman in Florida gave birth to a 14.1-pound bouncing baby boy!



It took 18 hours of labor; the baby is one of the largest in state history.



And one of the weirdest parts to the story is that the mother, Maxxandra Ford, didn't even know she was pregnant until 5 weeks before! She was 35 weeks pregnant and she didn't know!! That's a big surprise!!!



Also, err, I should have mentioned this, she gave birth to the baby naturally. Lol, that's terrifying! This is...this is a natural disaster! I feel like they need to set up a phone number, have a commercial campaign, and a spokesperson to be like: 'Text OMGNO to 7734 to donate $10 to the Maxxandra Ford Vaginal Relief Fund. There was little to no warning. No time to prepare. So much devastation.'

A Quickie Grammy Roundup

Here's what everyone was talking about with the Grammys:

First up, outfits.

Madonna dressed like a matador hooker.



Paris Hilton looked like she had her face photoshopped on a bodybuilder.



Rihanna was in a dress that slowly ate her over the course of the entire show.



And of course, Beyoncé and Taylor Swift were perfect.





Also perfect were the curvalicious Nicki Minaj, and the lovely lady Gwen Stefani.





Then Taylor Swift and Kanye West put the past behind them.



Which I think is the smart thing to do. I mean, say what you want about Kanye West, but he did make her more relevant, and she's massive now!

And then, Prince showed up and everyone cared, except for me.



Then Kanye acted like he was going to Kanye Beck but he didn't.



But, it should be noted, all of the joking aside, when Kanye was asked about it later, he said he didn't think that Beck deserved the award and that Beyoncé should've gotten the award. And it seems like Beck didn't disagree with him. Saying:



Then, the awesomeness that is Pentatonix won a Grammy, congratulations!



And finally, the Grammys made a stand against domestic violence — which many people said was undercut because Chris Brown was in the audience.



To which I say, Guys, it's been so many years, can't we just forgive Chris Brown and forget it? It happened so long ago! Granted, he did beat a woman near half-to-death, but he said he was sorry, and he can dance really well. Now for those of you that do not understand obvious sarcasm, that was sarcasm.

But on this topic, I say no, I don't think that it was undermined or undercut because Chris Brown was there. The one thing I would've done differently, is the entire time this thing was happening, I would have a dedicated Chris Brown cam, just so we can all see him squirm and feel awkward. Or nah.

ISIS Threatens To Behead Obama

ISIS militants recently recorded a video where they sent a message to US President Obama saying that they will reach America, cut off his head in the White House, and transform the United States into a Muslim province.



I have to say to ISIS: That is such a ridiculous threat that even North Korea is embarrassed for you! You're gonna go to the White House and cut off Barack Obama's head!! In the White House!!!

Some Juicy, Juicy Political News

Patricia Todd, Alabama's first openly gay legislator, has threatened to expose the extramarital affairs of some of her Republican colleagues, due to their opposition to same sex marriage.



I haven't the vaguest idea if her adulterous colleagues could make her back off from the threat to 'out' them.

MH370: Much Ado About Nothing

After all these months, Malaysia has declared Flight MH370 an accident and that all 239 people on board are now presumed dead.



This announcement means 2 main things.

1. This opens the door for compensation for the relatives of those who died on the flight (to be paid).



2. Even though Malaysia Airlines says that finding this plane is a priority, they are backing off and Australia is taking the lead.

Social Media Awesome

While Instagram and Facebook were crashing, Twitter decided to go ahead and release Video for Twitter — where you can actually post a video directly from Twitter and not just Vine.



The videos could be 30 seconds long; unlike Facebook they don't auto-play.



And now you can do group DM.