Upskirt Upset

This story out of Oregon; it hurts my head. A judge has ruled that a 61-year-old Oregon man by the name of Patrick Buono, did nothing illegal when he crouched down in a store aisle and took an upskirt photo of a 13-year-old girl. Yes, for real!

And it's not that Patrick's lawyer was able to convince the judge that he did not take those pictures — in fact that was not disputed. Instead the lawyer argued that even though he took the picture, he did not break any laws. He argued that there could be no invasion of privacy because they were in a public place. The privacy law bans (clandestine) photography in bathrooms, locker rooms, dressing rooms, and tanning booths but the aisle of a Target (store) is a public place, and in a public place, upskirt sightings can occur. The lawyer giving the example of Marilyn Monroe.

The privacy law also specifies that nudity has to be involved, and because the 13-year-old girl was wearing panties, it did not count.



As for the charge related to child sex abuse, the lawyer was able to argue that away because according to that state law, the girl should have had to be engaging in sexual conduct. So, I guess perverts everywhere rejoice...



...and everyone else cringe.



And that group of people would include the judge who is not happy with this decision. Judge Eric Butterfield saying:





And he called the decision to acquit this man — Buono — upsetting.

Dominatrix Duo Sampling Skimpy Police Costumes Pulled Off a Surprisingly Successful Jailbreak

In an amazing story, I have to talk about, or rather blog about something that came out of Brazil.

Reportedly, 2 women broke 26 prisoners out of jail. And according to reports, the way they did it, lol, was they dressed in skimpy sexy police officer costumes, just showed up to the prison, and talked the guards into letting them inside.



It's at that point, the women reportedly roofied the whiskeys the guys were drinking. And when the guards woke up, they were handcuffed naked, and 26 prisoners had escaped.

And so, what we learned here is a life lesson everyone should learn as early as possible. When something seems too good to be true, it probably is. If a beautiful, random, naked woman shows up on your door, question that. You want it to be real, guess what, that's not happening. Her crackhead boyfriend's going to break in and kill you!



Or at the very least, you're going to need genital creams for the rest of your life.

The downfall of so many men is just having a penis. A penis just makes a man stupid. Lol, when women ask me why guys constantly think about sex, it's not like we decided! It's not like we all got together and we were like, 'So, let's always think about sex instead of, you know, being productive with our lives.'



Sex can be an act of love, and passion, and babymaking but at the end of the day, it's getting (what I like to call) mind-poison out of your body. That's what's in there — not just baby batter, it's mind-poison! And if you are a guy and you're not already onboard with this, just, the next time you do whatever, make mental notes of just the weird stuffs going on in your bighead before, and then the clarity after.

The Attack That Happened in Pakistan Tuesday

If you haven't heard, at least 141 people are dead and at least 132 of them were children.



The attack was on the Peshawar school. Reportedly, 7 attackers went into the school gaining access by wearing military uniforms. Eye witness reports saying the men had explosive vests and they didn't appear to take any hostages but instead started firing indiscriminately when they entered the school.

All 7 of the attackers are dead and the Taliban has taken credit for this massacre. We also have an alleged Taliban commander telling the media why children were targeted. Saying:



Another quote referencing that this attack is just the trailer (for further attacks).

And while it should be noted that there are huge casualties here, it is actually not that rare for the Taliban to attack schools. Reportedly, in the past 5 years, over 1,000 Pakistani schools have been attacked by the Taliban. That has included people opening fire on school buses, throwing grenades into playgrounds. And this is the enemy! An enemy that fears education! An enemy that fears not being ignorant!

You attack a school of children?! Even Afghan Taliban has condemned Pakistani Taliban! Saying:



You attack children because you are not men! You attack schools and education because you know those who are educated, those who are not living under and denser than a rock will not believe in your cause!

It all boils down to this constant reminder that there's this kind of evil out there in the world. And we can either choose to be terrified or scared, and that turns into general, overall hate. Or, it can be this thing that brings us together against this very evil, in a black and white sort of sense, way.

But, ultimately, like everything else, we'll see.

Battered Baddies: Instant Karma

There were a pair of teenagers that thought it'd be a good idea to hold two people up at gunpoint, in Charlottesville, Virginia. But, as it turns out, they attempted to rob two badasses who weren't down with that whole getting robbed thing, and when police showed up, the would-be-robbers looked like this:



On the left, Johnny Calderón Jr., looks like his sister tried to put makeup on him...



...and, Gerald Allen was given a permanent wink.



Normally, when you're being robbed, at gunpoint, 99% of the time, you should just give up your shit. If someone is stupid or desperate enough to rob you at gunpoint, that person's probably stupid or desperate enough to shoot you. But, this sweet short story is the only exception.

So, the principal point here is that would-be-robbers should switch up their game. You'll never know if you're going to try and rob the Karate Kid.