Immigration Aptitude Test Turns Tragic

Unconfirmed reports say that 7 persons may have died, and several others injured, following a stampede at the National Stadium, Abuja – a venue of an aptitude test for 2013/2014 applicants who had applied to join the Nigerian Immigration Service.






Eyewitness accounts say that over 56,000 graduates had gathered at the National Stadium as early as 7 AM yesterday morning; to take part in the recruitment exercise conducted by the Nigerian Immigration Service, when the incident occurred.




The Public Relations officer of the National Hospital, Mr. Tayo Haastrup, assured Nigerians that those injured are receiving medical care; while a few others had been taken to Garki, and Asokoro general hospitals.


It was also a chaotic scene in Lagos state – Nigeria's southwest region – as job applicants hoping to get into the Nigerian Immigration Service thronged the National Stadium in Lagos.


Now thousands of the job seekers filled the stadium making it difficult for the Immigration officials to conduct the examinations.

Security officials at the time, fired teargas into the crowd; an action which the applicants kicked against.

Conclusively, the screening exercise was cancelled.

Consequently, angry applicants took to the streets to protest.


A storm is coming.

Douche Bag Bank Robber Gets Arrested After Posting Submachine Selfie on Facebook

The occasional beauty that I get out of douche bags – and just bad people in general – is sometimes they're so stupid you can't help but smile. And it's definitely the case with 21-year-old Jules Bahler seen here:



He's posted a selfie with a submachine gun. Also, unless you're a 16-year-old girl, stop taking selfies by pointing the camera at a mirror; and then looking directly into the camera. That is usually associated with young age and a low intelligence quotient. For Bahler, it seems low IQ because his crime really wasn't posting this picture. His crime, as alleged by police, is robbing 3 Michigan banks – with a gun that looks like that gun, and an outfit that looks like that outfit. Now authorities say they were able to match Bahler's face from his Facebook pictures, to the robbery surveillance footage.



Why does this hardened criminal have a Facebook page?



Birthday notifications, I guess. That's pretty much the only reason I have one.

According to FBI agent, Sean Callaghan, a man fitting this description, went into 3 banks over 8 days, robbed about $8300.



And they would've not known who did this except for Jules, or as he calls himself online “King Romeo”, posted this picture and captioned it:



But unfortunately, police arrested him before he could follow the advice of a friend who left a comment on the picture:



Lol, always take advice from people that have machete in their name.

A Moronic Minnesota Representative's Racist Tweet

We have a Minnesota State Representative possibly getting in trouble for a tweet.



But what could he possibly have said? Lol, the tweet in question read:



You already know it's going to be bad; the only way it could be worse is if you start that sentence off with, 'I'm not racist but...'



And while I am shocked that he would say that, I'm also inspired to the fact that he could somehow – in 140 characters – get across that he both thinks all black people look the same, and they are all criminals. That's hard! Representative Garofalo, you are a wordsmith!

The Political Ritual Held Once Every 5 Years

Kim Jong Un was "reelected" as President of North Korea.



I typed "reelected" because even though there was 100% turnout there was no one else to vote for.



Most likely because, you know, North Korea is crazy. And, no one obviously wants to run against the guy that killed his uncle for the fuck of it; and just imprisons and kills entire families at his leisure.

Cristiano Ronaldo Isn't Far Too Concerned with How His Hair Looks to Think About Others

Not even the staunchest Leo Messi fanboy can deny the fact that Cristiano Ronaldo is an obnoxiously attractive man.



The Real Madrid superstar is sometimes criticized for being annoyingly arrogant.



The current World Player of the Year was asked to donate a shirt, and a pair of boots, to help raise funds for sick little Erik Ortiz Cruz.



Erik's a 10-month-old boy with cortical dysplasia — a rare brain disorder that causes dozens of daily seizures.



The poor boy's family were trying to raise $83,000 for a vital operation, and he (CR7) obliged. He did give them the shirt and pair of boots, as well as cover the full cost of the operation himself.

And while, as people have pointed out that it's only 20% of what he makes in a week, the fact that he did it, because he could, when it would have been just as easy to not pay any attention whatsoever, is what makes this guy a BAMF!

Losing a Drunken Bet to Win a New Name

A New Zealand man who was playing some drunken poker with his buddies decided to make an interesting bet. Specifically, that if he lost, he would allow his friends to rename him.



Fun Fact: he lost.

Other Fact: in New Zealand, you can have a name up to 100 characters!

And, they used all but one (99 characters) for his new name: ‘Full Metal Havok More Sexy N Intelligent Than Spock And All The Superheroes Combined With Frostnova’!



And yes, that is his official real name. A name that he now has to use because: his passport expired this year, and he'll also be required to use that name on his driver's license, and other legal documents.

Ukraine, Crimea, and Russia

Ukraine's acting President, Oleksandr Turchynov, has said that they will not try and take back Crimea. Stating:



Adding:




Finally saying:




And that may be the case.

It's so interesting to see all these pictures coming out of these "maybe" Russian soldiers — who are not officially Russian soldiers.



Many see troops under Russian command aiming their weapons at just unarmed Ukrainian soldiers.



And then, finally, we have the leaders of the G7 Group of Nations warning Russia, and calling on them to stop all efforts to "annex" Ukraine's Crimea region.



And stating that if Russia took such a step, they would have to take further action, individually and collectively.



Conclusively, the principal point of this story is that everyone disagrees, and they all have weapons.

And really, that's where we are right now. There's a lot of talking. There's a lot of positioning. Both, reasons for Russia to enter, and reasons for Russia to stay out. Because no matter what happens, it won't just stop there. It's a domino effect situation. Nonetheless, the world will continue watching; and we'll see what happens next.

#SXSW

SXSW is actually an abbreviation for South by Southwest, a festival in Texas that features movies, tech, and lots of music.



It had a very dark morning yesterday because a guy in a car just drove through a group of people.



Reportedly, the suspected drunk driver was fleeing a DUI checkpoint; he was trying to get away from police.



He took off at high speed, drove down a one-way street – the wrong way, crashed through a barricade. The street had been closed to keep those attending the South by Southwest festival safe. He then plowed through a group of people: he hit several pedestrians, a moped, a bicycle, a taxi, and a van, before stopping his vehicle and attempting to flee on foot. Officers were able to apprehend the man, and have him in custody.

As of typing this, 2 people have died – they were pronounced dead on the scene: a Texas woman who was riding on the moped, and a Dutch man who was riding the bicycle.





23 people were injured, 15 of those 23 that were hospitalized have been released. 5 others were listed in critical condition.





The suspect, 21-year-old Rashad Charjuan Owens, is facing 2 counts of capital murder (an offense in Texas which makes him eligible for the death penalty), and 23 counts of aggravated assault with a vehicle.



There were people on the scene with cameras – it's just so rough to look at. It's all just so random, terrible, and stupid!



This story honestly breaks my heart. It breaks my heart because it's 100% preventable. Nonetheless, I try to remember that there are seven billion people on this planet so there's bound to be a good amount of shitty, shitty people; and those people make the news 'cause they do terrible stuff. But really, it's pointless, and it hurts my soul, and aches my heart. My thoughts go out to those affected by this.

An Update on the Malaysian Airlines Flight That Disappeared Over the Weekend

Since this happened, because of the 24 hour cycle of mainstream media, there's been a lot of misinformation. Nonetheless, today the headline I see is:



So what this meant, is that the plane could be anywhere within twenty two hundred nautical miles.



And then there's talk about US counterterrorism, believing maybe the pilot did blah, blah, blah.



Here's what this is again and just as a reminder: they're talking about 2,200 nautical miles because they have no idea what the hell happened. And because of this new range, it was believed that maybe the plane had crashed near China. There are satellite images with photos of debris but when they went there, there was nothing there.



So, the principal point here is people still don't know anything but they're reporting on it like they do.