The Succession of Stupidities By Selfie Stick Scumbags

There is no shortage of weird, WTF, just stupid news today. Lemme just get something off my chest real fast: I hate selfie sticks!


I used one once, I tried to convince myself that it was awesome for twenty minutes, and then I hated it forever. Which is why I had almost no empathy when I saw this:








Good.

Matter-of-factly, I'm dreadfully disappointed douchebag didn't decapitate himself and castrate the dude in the pickup.

Kid Kicks the Bucket Because of Preposterous Parenting

The first thing I want to blog about today are my Parent of the Year nominees: Joseph and Paulette Richardson.



These two were raising 16-year-old Kendal Ball, who really really wanted to try alcohol.

According to court records, he had been asking them constantly over the past 3 years. And for these parents, it was a really big deal because Kendal's biological father was an alcoholic.

So one day, they decided to teach the kid a lesson and show him the hazards of drinking. So they gave him shot after shot after shot and he just gets obliterated and the parents put him to bed — with the hopes he'd wake with a horrible hangover at worst (in the morning).

But unfortunately, when they went to check on him later, he was found unconscious and blue.

And very unfortunately, Kendal would die because of alcohol poisoning! Which makes me wonder how much they gave this kid to drink!

When the emergency medical technicians transported him to the hospital he had an alcohol level of .587! If you're unfamiliar, that is about 7 times the legal limit!


And now both parents have been charged with involuntary manslaughter meaning these two could face up to twenty years in jail!

GM: General Motors

There's been a big story for a while now that there are a hundred and twenty four deaths at least linked to an ignition-switch defect that GM just didn't care about. The defect would cause car engines to fail...


So, kind of a big deal. And it's not like they just only recently found out about this; GM engineers and managers knew about this defect for more than a decade — and didn't issue the first recall until February of 2014!

It seems very much a case of amoral accounting: It might actually cost us as a company less to just let them be out there and deal with cases on individual basis, than issuing a massive recall on fleets and fleets of vehicles.

And the big news today is according to two sources, GM will be paying out nine hundred million dollars!!! One source saying:


But the biggest news to me is according to one of the sources:


And that is insane!

Of course, on top of this the first of the civil cases against GM start in January of 2016, but no one's going to be criminally charged — even though people knowingly lied to regulators about something that was killing people!

It's not like they don't know who some of those people are — in 2014 they pushed out 15 executives, but getting pushed out of a company and going to jail for a very obvious crime are two vastly different punishments.


And if you think about it, this is essentially voluntary manslaughter for profit. The only difference between criminals at the top and criminals at the bottom is the guys at the top get to wash away their sins in a fountain of money.

An Update On the Prosthetic Penis Case

In an update on 25-year-old Gayle Newland, aka "Kye Fortune", who, if you remember, had a long-term relationship with a woman who didn't realize that she was a woman over the course of their relationship because the victim in question always wore a blindfold when they had sex — where Gayle would use a prosthetic penis — and even when they hung out and watched TV together.

I know, it's weird, it sounds like a story you'd hear on The Onion, but it is not!

And the update is that she has just been convicted on 3 charges of sexual assault.


It looks like Newland is definitely going to serve jail time. It's just a matter of how much.

UFC News That Is Bigger Than Just UFC News

Over the course of the past 2½ years have I become a fan of the UFC, and MMA in general. They've made massive strides in being a more legitimate sport, we've seen these big stars blow up, and if you even remotely know about the UFC, you know about the Diaz brothers — and you either love them or hate them.


Regardless of your personal feelings, some bullshit just went down.

If you don't know, back at UFC 183, Nick Diaz went against Spider Silva.


Nick Diaz lost that fight, it seemed like it was over, but then it came out that both of the fighters failed drug tests. Spider Silva for anabolic steroids, and Nick Diaz for marijuana.

So what happens: Anderson Silva gets a one-year suspension, while Nick Diaz gets a five-year suspension and a $160,000 fine!

That is insane and very very troubling!! This ruling comes from the Nevada State Athletic Commission and it sends the worst message ever! Not only is marijuana not a performance-enhancing drug — unless that activity in question is a marathon of Family Guy on Netflix in your sweatpants — but also because his ruling has come down for personal reasons.


Nick Diaz has shown no remorse for smoking marijuana, because it very obviously is not enhancing his performance. During his hearing, when he was asked questions, he answered on pleading the fifth to everything even when he was asked if he speaks English.


And it just bothers my mind that Anderson Silva will get one year for steroids! And Jon Jones who was caught with coke (not even having a deal with the Nevada State Athletic Commission), and hit a pregnant lady with his car, while he was most likely high on cocaine — he definitely had cocaine in the car — and he was "suspended indefinitely" even though as soon as he gets his legal stuff cleared, he gets a title shot as soon as he wants.


It's just an ugly day for sports when someone's personal feelings can essentially end a guy's career. Diaz is 32; he doesn't have many years left.

This Year's Miss America

I'm blogging about this not because there's anything inherently exciting about the woman who won it: Miss Georgia, Betty Cantrell.


Granted, she's a pretty lady. I always have a small little cheer inside whenever someone from the big nose club wins something.


But (for me), the bigger thing of the event was the CEO of Miss America apologizing to Vanessa Williams.


Vanessa Williams, if you don't know — and I wouldn't be surprised because this happened before I was born — in 1983 she was the first black woman to ever win Miss America!

And even though she would go on to be pretty much the most successful Miss America winner ever, 10 months after she won the title, she forfeited it because reportedly she was pressured to give it up. This happening because Penthouse published nude photos that she had taken before she won the crown.

So this year, on top of the CEO apologizing for the pressure and everything they put her through, she was a judge. And I think that's great, but that's also 'cause I'm a person who doesn't understand why nudity is such a big deal.

A woman's body is a woman's body. While I personally find it fantastic, and gorgeous, and a work of art, it is 100% inherently hers, so what she does with it is her business. I don't understand why there's so many people and things in place to try and control that.

For research purposes, I went back and found those nude photos, and nude photos is (*licks lips*) accurate but is so broad of a word that you wouldn't expect to see someone licking her butthole.


Nonetheless, it's still about it, and I think people should stop hating.

Also, fun fact, the centerfold for the issue that Vanessa Williams is in is actually way more scandalous. It's notorious porn star, Traci Lords, who was photographed in this when she was *15*!


So wow!

Amazon Announces $50 Tablet

This is not a sponsor, I just don't know how they did it price point wise — Amazon announced a new tablet that is $50!


It officially releases September thirtieth, but it's so interesting 'cause it's jumping into a market with really no competition.

It's not like they're fighting Apple, they're fighting brand names you probably don't trust.


And like typical Amazon, it doesn't look like they care about if they lose money on this product initially 'cause they're hoping that over the course of the next ten years they're going to make more money off of it.

And when I say that it's cheap, it's the only tablet I've ever seen have a buy-5-get-1-free deal — incase, I guess, if you want a tablet in every room of your house, or, it actually does make sense for education.

The only way this becomes cheaper is if they just give 'em away in serial boxes from now on.

Facebook's Foliage Changing Color

It's a time of vast social change. Facebook has jumped on the bandwagon to try and change things up in a different way.


Recently, CEO Mark Zuckerberg saying that after years of thinking about it, they are now developing and will soon ship out a Dislike button.



But, a big thing to note is, unlike YouTube, or Reddit, it's not supposed to be a system where it takes down a video for being promoted; it's intended to just be a different way someone interacts with the video.

Usually if you see something, you want other people to see it, you hit like. It's weird very few people want to click like on a Holocaust article.

So, after this ships out, you can convey your point of view on something without having to automatically look like you like it. Zuckerberg saying not every moment is a good moment and he wanted people to be able to convey empathy.

Just Another Reason Why You Should Probably Not Send Nudes Over Snapchat

Snapchat introduced a new feature called Lenses — which you might have seen when they did that thing for Terminator.


They also introduced Trophies for doing stuff in the app.


Mainly, in previous versions of Snapchat, you are allowed to replay one Snap a day. You might have missed something, you wanted to see something again, you could choose one per day. But now, Snapchat has turned that into a microtransaction. So if you want to see that Snap again, maybe you didn't get to screencap that nude, 99 cents you can play an additional 3 times.


And as real as this is, it does also makes sense. Snapchat needs to find more revenue. Despite Snapchat blowing up and the company reportedly being worth over 20 billion dollars, they lost 128 million dollars last year!

They didn't even start trying to generate revenue until around October of last year. So they're hoping this is going to stack on the 50 million they're expected to make in advertising this year.

Science of the Breasteses

If you've wanted a larger breast but you're scared of surgery, you don't have the money, you don't believe in it, there actually might be some good news for you.

Milan Milić, a former engineering student in Serbia, is believed to have made a bra that increases breast size over the course of wearing it. And the way it works is that the bra vibrates!


The testing was done on women under the supervision of two specialist doctors, and the two examples they gave involved women going from around a 32B to a 34C over the course of seven days.

As far as how this works, according to Milan:


They also posted pictures of the progress — don't worry, I covered their dirty dirty nipples.




And honestly, who knows, this could be real, this could also be snake oil. I always assume everything's fake until it's definitely proven.

Even in those pictures, I've seen so many before and after photos that just changed based on lighting and angle and posture.


A lot of people are always looking for a shortcut so when the (seemingly miraculous) vibrating E Bra does come out next year, I imagine it's going to sell like crazy — regardless of how well they work.

Women as a people are very insecure and there's a lot of money in that.

The Ciara Controversy Turned Out to Be Much Ado About Nothing

Ciara was trending (it was number one trending for me), and so I looked into it, and it's because there's all this drama because Ciara took her son (who she had with an artist by the name of Future) to the Seahawks practice — you can see Russell Wilson hug him:


Future wasn't happy about it, and all his people started shaming Ciara. And I say yeah, how dare this woman move on from a past relationship that she most likely was cheated on, and have some positive male role model for her son! Who the hell does this woman think she is? Some kind of well put together woman who cares about the upbringing of her son and her general happiness? Disgusting!


I mean, look at these pictures:



Super adorable. I would've loved if Russell Wilson was my stepdaddy. Especially if my real dad sees these pictures and his reaction is to post misspelled tweets.




And then you hashtag your album 'cause you're trying to get sales off of this?


I just don't understand the anger. I feel like most the anger's coming from people that are trying to keep up on their child support payments.

I haven't the vaguest idea, or rather the foggiest notion why these hypocritical bastards are worried about Ciara taking her son to a football practice. Meanwhile, nobody gives a shit if Future's trying to knock up enough women to make his own damn football team.